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Saturday, October 14th, 2006
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So its been fucking forever since i updated this damn thing i forgot i had it until now... But ive had a rough couple of months...everything just falls apart so quick and sucks alot.. Nothing major has happened over the past few months other than my summer was amazing i hated the entire club scene now im inlove the music the people the entire thing is sick..My car has been like 90% finished painted etc just waiting on my motor now.... and w/e but thats going to cost a shitload and a shit load is alot more than what i have right now... im starting a new job on monday working at northfork banks so thats definetly a plus... now that im like half way threw with this im starting to realize why i dont do this shit anymore... oh i know! cause no one reads them lol or gives a shit who woulda known...other than all the good things alot of shitty stuff has happened such as.... one of my super close friends dieing... that really sucked and still really really fucking hurts i guess you never know what its like till it really happends to you... (i love you jerry) and jus this summer really sucked for me alot of things happened as far as friends damily etc etc just really hurts when you lose people. but life must go on...since what happened with my friend it really changed me as a person i must say and it sucks im such an angry dont give a shit kind of person now and it really blows and i cant do anything about it it seems.. for no reason today i wanted to beat the shit out of some kid for looking at me wierd??? idk what the deal is but it sucks a shit load... Hmm im going for another tattoo soon gunna get this little cartoon guy cheech wizard for no aparent reason...
well keep it real i might start to do this shit again keep it real
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Sunday, September 25th, 2005
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shits cool i guess no real complaints school is actually bad ass only got 2 calsses that are sucky but w/e no problem
thats all ill do a total update soon
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Thursday, September 8th, 2005
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aight well ill give yah a run down im a senior wich is most definetly badass it seems like it will be a good year i hope at least and well idk shits kinda just gunna flow i can feel it haha my second day and i have senioritis haha but hey w/e its cool so yeah welll any way in a return to normalcy i cant stop listening to glassjaw at the drive in and sparta wow cant get enough haha if anyone has the whole glassjaw cd on there computer lemme know id like to get it from yah
thankssss a bunch
-you think your saying something relevant as connect the dots-
-you never realized you had to get in line to suck a cock-
-your telling me that 50 million screaming fans are never wrong-
-im telling you that 50 million screaming fans are fucking morons-
-Jimmy urine-
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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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haha tonight was fucking awesome cody's truck is fucking pimp
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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well im happyier than ever lately so yeah well i did something really dumb but never again and yeah well i wont make such shitty choices anymore i dont think.......and an awesome band is case of the mondays lol yeah lata niggs
It's how the same old story goes
I want her and she knows but she says "let's just be friends"
But now it's too late made my mind
Never thought I'd ever find a girl that was so money
Come on give me a shot, cause baby I need what you've got
If we're good friends than you'd take my advice
Emily, can't you see just why you should be with me?
And I'll wait for your call, just so I can tell you all the ways I feel
Don't you know that this is real? I got nothin you can't steal
Please, just tell me what's the deal Emily.
I love everything you do
like laugh at my jokes right on cue cause you've got a sense of humor
I'm sorry you can't break my will
You got me rockin' Built to Spill just so we've got more in common
Come on give me a shot, cause baby I need what you've got
If we're good friends than you'd take my advice
Emily, can't you see just why you should be with me?
And I'll wait for your call, just so I can tell you all the ways I feel
Don't you know that this is real? I got nothin you can't steal
Please, just tell me what's the deal Emily.
And now you're right here next to me
Your eyes are closed so you can't see how much it takes me now to hold you
Why can't this happen Emily?
I wouldn't wish my worst enemy and ounce of what I've gone through
Come on give me a shot, cause baby I need what you've got
If we're good friends than you'd take my advice
Emily, can't you see just why you should be with me?And I'll wait for your call, just so I can tell you all the ways I feel
Don't you know that this is real? I got nothin you can't steal
Please, just tell me what's the deal Emily.
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Friday, August 26th, 2005
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im not in a great mood im not in a bad mood but i just really really really wanna kick someones ass so bad get a little anger out and just beat the fuck out of them....yeah that would be fun
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Monday, August 22nd, 2005
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| Time: | 11:51 pm. |
| Mood: |  ecstatic. | | Music: | msi-2 hookers and an 8 ball. |
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NEW MSI CD HOLY SHIT ITS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT WOOHOOO!!!!! if anyone wants it its in my getfiles
so yeah everythings cool yeah im done i just cant stop listening to this shit haha
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| Time: | 12:55 am. |
| Music: | MSI-shut me up. |
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so yeah im bored figured i would update.....yeah... i updated
The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal
With the bass
The rock
The mic
The treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal
cuz i cant wait for you to knock me up
in a minute minute
in a fuckin minute
i cant wait wait for you to knock me up
in a minute minute
in a second
I cant wait for you to shut me up
and make me hip like bad ass
I cant wait for you to shut me up
shut it up!
I cant wait for you to shut me up
and make me hip like bad ass
I cant wait for you to shut me up
shut it up!
La La La......
The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal
With the bass
The rock
The mic
The treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal
cuz i cant wait for you to knock me up
in a minute minute
in a fuckin minute
i cant wait wait for you to knock me up
in a minute minute
in a second
I cant wait for you to shut me up
and make me hip like bad ass
I cant wait for you to shut me up
shut it up!
I cant wait for you to shut me up
and make me hip like bad ass
I cant wait for you to shut me up
shut it up!
I'm down by the party right now
Whats up with all of the party right now
I'm on my way to the party right now
I'm down by the party right now
Whats up with all of the party right now
I'm on my way to the party right now
Here comes the break
the break
the break
I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me hip like bad ass
i can't wait for you to shut me up, shut it up!
I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me hip like bad ass
i can't wait for you to shut me up, shut it up!
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Sunday, August 21st, 2005
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| Subject: | wow |
| Time: | 2:31 am. |
| Mood: |  curious. | | Music: | something corporate-my konstantine. |
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wow is all i really have to say its a good wow alot of shit happened and its some of the best hsit in the world shit might be looking up for me and i think i really deserve it shit has gone so bad lately i need something to keep my head up wow its up ....idk just im so happy and i love this feeling so much its been so long since iv had it...
-=<3love truely=-
I think i will look at things in a hole new light....yeah thats it
This is to a girl
Who got into my head
With all these pretty things she did
Hey, baby, you know
You keep me up in bed
It's to a girl
Who got into my head
With all these fucked up things I did
Hey, maybe, baby
You could keep me up in bed
My Konstanine
You spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I missed you?
Did you know I miss you?
Did you know I miss you?
Did you know I miss you?
God, I miss you
And then you bring me home
And we go to sleep, but this time not alone, no, no
And you kiss me in your living room
Oh, and you see, no,
What I've been missing in my living room
Cause it's all you
Yeah, this is what I've missed, what I miss
We don't have much room
I said does anybody reallu need that room?
Because we all need a little bit of room
To live
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Monday, August 15th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:09 am. |
| Mood: |  crappy. | | Music: | assemblage 23-30kft. |
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WOW what the fuck? my theory is extremely correct i have something great for a little while then it blows up in my fucking face its aweesome my life truely sucks more than anything. Fuck it why the fuck should i care why the fuck should i try anymore when this shit always happeneds i guess i should just excpect it. yeh thats what ill do i just fucking never trust anyone again and i will never get my hopes up for anything so ill be an emotionless asshole who wont talk to anyone cause well thats the only way i wont get screwed! hooray. so yeah wow haha i never thought so much shit could go wrong and i never thought that my lil theory thing was right i figured i was having some shitty luck cause it started looking promising extremely promising and there it goes again down the shitter why does well not god i dont beleive in him but someone up there want to make me want to fucking end my shit quick? well yeah marvelous no more trying no more cares no more need to be around anyone fuck it i have all i need a car a couple good friends fuck anything else.
so after this nice depressing entry id like to die no one reads this or will care so yeah man fuck it.
-I'm not certain how much time I may have left, so I'll be brief
I'm sorry if this message only amplifies your grief
But I couldn't bear the burden of never having said goodbye
And the pain you feel, I promise you, will go away with time
I'm sorry I won¹t be there to see our children grow
Please tell them that I loved them more than they will ever know
Tell my family and friends how much I loved them all as well
I"m sure that we will meet again, but only time will tell
I'm sorry most of all I won¹t be there when you grow old
To be there by your side and keep you warm when you are cold
Forgive me, but I think my time is drawing to a close
So I've one last thing to tell you now before I have to go
I...
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Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
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| Time: | 1:19 am. |
| Mood: |  chipper. | | Music: | Pepper-give it up. |
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It’s been a while since I’ve seen your face
Gotta say that I’m happy to see you come around my place
Now I think we’ve talked about it
And I think I know what’s coming up next
Let’s put our minds away and let our hormones do the rest
Does it seem obscene, does it seem like a bad thing?
Well if it is I’m sorry miss but you know I’m just 19
So don’t be afraid when my pants start to leak
You know damn well I'm in my sexual peak
Well…
Why won't you have some dirty hot sex with me?
It ain't like I’m asking you to give it up for free
Oh we can start it right now baby get on your knees
Don’t make me beg again girl I just said please, please
Yeah, now when you look down
Don’t be misled
I’ve found my life purpose and it’s getting upstairs into your bed
(oooooooh shit!)
So there’s a phone girl
Go right on ahead
I’m sure you’d rather be with your stupid boyfriend instead
Why you gotta sleep with my dad?
Why don’t you have some dirty hot sex with me?
It ain’t like I’m asking you to give it up for free
Oh we can start it right now baby get on your knees
Don’t make me beg again well girl I just said please
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Well baby get on your knees
Oh yeah, oh yeah
I’m beggin’ you darling please
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Well baby get on your knees
Oh yeah, oh yeah
I’m beggin’ you darling please, please
Please me
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| Time: | 12:22 am. |
| Music: | the flaming lips- in the morning of magicians. |
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wow Fuck everyone do people do things to piss me off?
anyhow yeah woohoo LIFES FUCKING fantasticly sucky? i guess yeah wow.
and idk no one fucking understand my views for anything so why do i even try?
hm i have no lyrics that iIn the morning I awake
And I couldn't remember
What is love and what is hate
The calculations error
Oh, what is love and what is hate?
And why does it matter?
Is to love just a waste?
And how can it matter?
Oh.....
As the dawn began to break
I had to surrender
The universe will have it's way
Too powerful to master
Oh.....
What is love and what is hate?
And why does it matter?
Oh.....
What is love and what is hate?
And how can it matter?
Oh.....
want to put in here at the current time. i guess idk ill figure something out.
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Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
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Ten times removed
I forget about where it all began
Bastard son of a bastard son of
A wild eyed child of the sun
And right as rain, I’m not the same
But I feel the same, I feel nothing
(chorus)
Holding back the fool again
Holding back the fool pretends
I forget to forget nothing is important
Holding back the fool again
I sensed my loss
Before I even learned to talk
And I remember my birthdays
Empty party afternoons won’t come back
(chorus)
I forget to forget me
I forget to forget you see
Nothing is important to me
I knew my loss
Before I even learned to speak
And all along, I knew it was wrong
But I played along, with my birthday song
(chorus)
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| Time: | 12:43 pm. |
| Music: | new years day-ready aim misfire. |
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well lately life has sucked majorly im kinda sick of it. people just keep making me more and more pissed off. everything kinda falling apart around me my life, my friends, my family i just dont know what to do with any of this-basically it all just sucks so lately ive been just fucking peachy! but yeah i should be hangin out with some cool poeople tonight that would cheer me up well yeah thats all for now adios
-get out of the car and dont try and stop me
stay were you are cause there you cant hurt me
you take things to far and i dont deserve this no i dont deserve this
you said you that you would be you would always be honest mean what you would say
but you broke every promise that you ever made and i dont deserve this no i dont deserve this
if i had just one bullet and a trigger id pull it
shoot my cupid out of the the sky break off his wings and gouge out his eyes
thank him for nothing cause thats all he gave to me
your love is my heart disease
dont try and call im not gunna answer
im not gunna fall
for another disaster
that you put me through
and i dont deserve this
no i dont deserve this
if i had just one bullet and a trigger id pull it
shoot my cupid outta the sky break off his wings and gouge out his eyes
thank him for nothing cause thats all he gave to me
your love is my heart disease
if i had just one bullet and a trigger id pull it
shoot my cupid outta the sky break off his wings and gouge out his eyes
thank him for nothing cause thats all he gave to me
your love is my heart disease
dont care anymore i dont care anymore i dont care anymore i dont care anymore dont care anymore
about you i dont care anymore i dont care anymore about you
cause with out you im better off better off better off..
shoot my cupid outta the sky break off his wings and gouge out his eyes
thank him for nothing cause thats all he gave to me
your love is my heart disease
shoot my cupid outta the sky break off his wings and ask him just why
he played such a sick joke on the fool that is me and cursed me with a sickness
your love is my heart disease-
probably some fuck ups i was typing it to the song =) boredom has set in
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| Time: | 11:08 am. |
| Mood: |  crushed. | | Music: | bright eyes-love nothing. |
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last night was hell and disgraceful i cant beleive i could be so upset. I did some stupid shit and now do i regret them nah but i regret trust im never trusting anyone again. cause everyone to me now is a liar. I do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE else and what do i get? nothing i get lied to fucking lied to and heartbroken so what the fuck is with that shit?im just sick of it i hoped this morning i wouldnt wake up. why would i wanna be here when everyonearound me is a scum bag-lier-whore i just dont understand what the hell am i the one thats messed up and i should be one of those 3 cause well i dont know anyone who really isnt atleast one of them for the most part. what the fuck thats really not fucking cool at all FUCK it i do not care..
haha dont you love it it s a typical entry about suicide and hating my life haha isnt that funny im such a hypocrite i hate it but yet i dont...
*-now i do as i please, and i lie through my teeth.
someone might get hurt, but it wont be me.
she'll probably feel cheap, but i'll just feel free,
and a little bit empty.
no, it isn't so hard, to get close to me.
there will be no arguements, we'll always agree.
and i'll try and be kind, when i ask you to leave.
we'll both take it easy.-*
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Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
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yo listen hook a brother up on his b day come to my party its the kuly 18th it would be really really nice to see all my friends there im havein voice of dissension blood brings beauty and forever scorn(maybe) play and it would be really fucking awesome to see everyone out there its monday the 18th be there at like 6 please
directions use mapquest
addi is
101 grand blvd
massapequa park
ny 11762
thanks guys and gals
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well last night was pretty fucking cool i must say..i fought with my mom alot to drive me places but thats about it any way... yeah ive been talking to this really cool girl caity alot we talked on the phone for idk maybe friday night and then yesterday she had a baby shower or something i think and then after that she wanted me to go hang out so i did it was awesome we hung out went to the movies saw dog town it was really cool and then we just hung out a lil longer but she had to go home after that cause her dad wouldnt let her stay out so it was a really amazing night i met someone whose awesome and well as of now i think were hangin out next week also so it should be reallly cool cant wait and this time im not going to rush into things im gunna make sure everthying is the right was prior to starting anything,,,but lets see what happpeneds.......
-casey-
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Can anybody find me somebody to love
Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)
Lord what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
Yeah
I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life
I work till I ache in my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord somebody (somebody), ooh somebody
(Please) Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(He works hard)
Everyday (everyday) - I try and I try and I try
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm going crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Ah, got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe in
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Ooh somebody - ooh somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(Can anybody find me someone to love)
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing)
I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright - he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love love love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love somebody somebody somebody somebody
Somebody find me
Somebody find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love ?
(Find me somebody to love)
Ooh
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me
Ooh - somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Ooh
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!
Wooo somebody find me, find me love.
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hm so yeah this is life idk but i am listening to a good song
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Other then the obvious there have been many things going on that have been pissing me off but i cant get into that on here cause it would make me look like an ass so screw that. but yeah idk life sucks what can yah do about it? just deal with it we all do anyway i suppose. but yeah i think single life will be good for now i cant have comitment cause i fuck that up.
im just really depressed right about now so im gunna end this on a
-jesus may love you but i think your a faggot-
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kill2bkilled's journal
angry.